𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔

𝙸𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎. 𝙻𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚘, 𝙸'𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚝. 𝙸 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚖𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛. 𝙸𝚝 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎. 𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚜... 𝙸𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔. 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕 𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕. 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍, 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛. 𝙰 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝...

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎,

𝙻𝚞𝚗𝚊-𝙱𝚛𝚒𝚝  

𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙖𝙨 𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙. 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨. 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩. 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚. 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙛 𝙄'𝙢 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙮 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩. 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙨. 𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣. 𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡. 𝘼 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝘼𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨. 𝙄 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩. 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨, 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙈𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣. 𝙄 𝙜𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠. 𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙜𝙤 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛, 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙩.

𝙇𝙪𝙣𝙖-𝘽𝙧𝙞𝙩 𝘿𝙚 𝙒𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧

I always stay quiet, let my tears role down in silence.

When nobody looks, I let the mask fall down. I prison my feelings in my heart. 

I let the feelings come over me. They take control. Hopefully thinking they will lose it at a moment.

I hold it to myself, smile and shine trough the day. I stay quiet, trying not to make a mistake or say the wrong thing. Afraid of losing people all over again. Afraid that they will let me go like I never even existed.

So many things are holding me up. Being happy, is it really that hard?

My heart is filled with sadness, sadness you couldn't imagine. It's deep, it's cruel, it's hard but I hide it as long as I can.

 

love,

Luna-Brit